i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
they're like a gay fantastic four
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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