32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
How does it feel to date your dad?
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Randomize
