I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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