I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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