As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
