Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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