I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize