My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Randomize
