I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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