Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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