So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
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