please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
