So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
