her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
