I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Randomize
