If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I can't put those talents on a resume
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
