Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
