Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
