VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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