Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
