I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Randomize
