Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
