drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
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