yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
