Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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