btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
