I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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