my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
