My nipple is on Facebook.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
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