Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
it was like eating out sand paper
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
