It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
