I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
