was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize