Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
