you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
