Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
