Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize
