i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
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