She's JV to your varsity
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
