i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
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