4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it