The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
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