man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
