You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
there's paper in my vomit.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I can't put those talents on a resume
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
