My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
