did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
