My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
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