I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
