I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
