my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
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I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
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Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
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