can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
