'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
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