in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
It's not a walk of shame if you run
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
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