grandma shit on top of the toilet
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
