I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
