New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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