right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
