the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
