Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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