It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
