there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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