Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
