2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
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