woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Randomize
