allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
