The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
