i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
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