he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
