go do what you do best...puke behind churches
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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