How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
