Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Randomize
