I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
its not stalking. its research.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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