I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
two words...techno handjob
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
