Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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