I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
