you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
